


Colourful

by LonelyAngel



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 23:57:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10955418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LonelyAngel/pseuds/LonelyAngel
Summary: Josh is colourful. Josh is every colour Tyler could imagine. He's red and he's green and he's pink and cotton candy and he's a bright yellow.Tyler is black and grey. He's white sometimes, but it's a dirty white.





	Colourful

**Author's Note:**

> I hope it's not too confusing

Josh is colourful. Josh is every colour Tyler could imagine. He's red and he's green and he's pink and cotton candy and he's a bright yellow. Josh's voice is a dark blue. It's like a dark sky in the summertime and his smile is like a bright star, shining through the night.

Josh's eyes are brown. Tyler's are, too, but his eyes haven't got the warm brown colour Josh's have. Tyler's brown eyes are boring, although Josh says they look like chocolate.

Josh is like a rainbow. Sometimes, Josh is a very bright, shining colour. Then he illuminates Tyler's heart for a few minutes.

 

 

Tyler is black and grey. He's white sometimes, but it's a dirty white. Tyler would prefer a clean white. But he can't change it. He can't wash the dirt away. He tried.

 

 

Right now, he's dark grey, almost black. He sits on the floor, chin resting on his knees, eyes closed. He is shaking, but it is barely visible.

 

 

"Tyler." Josh says when he opens the door. "There you are. I was looking for you."

Tyler doesn't answer, he just looks at his friend. Josh is red right now, Tyler thinks. Well, actually Josh is pretty dark dressed and he wears nothing red. His hair is yellow.

Tyler thinks how stupid he is, imagining other people in colours, but it helps him to keep the distance. They are just colours and if he squints his eyes, they're just a mess of colours, melting into each other. And colours don't talk, they are just _there._

 

 

Josh sits down next to Tyler and sighs. "Tyler, what's wrong?"

Tyler shrugs and stares at his fingers. He starts to bite his nails when he's nervous. His fingers look terrible. The skin is red and bloody.

"Tyler, what colour are you?" Josh asks.

"Grey." Tyler mumbles. "It's a dark grey."

"Almost black?"

"Yes." Tyler answers in a small voice.

Josh gives an understanding nod. He knows, grey is safe. Black is not safe anymore. He places a hand on Tyler's head.

"What colour am I?" he asks softly.

Tyler bites his lip. "Red."

"Is it a bright, shining red?"

Tyler shakes his head. "No…it's a dark red. Like…blood."

Josh takes a deep breath. He knows he needs to be a bright colour to fill Tyler's heart with light. But sometimes, he's too dark and there's no way to help Tyler. He just has to sit next to him and hold him and wait until it's over.

 

 

But it is never over. Josh can't remember when Tyler started with the colours. A few months ago?

It's a coping mechanism, Josh knows. A way for Tyler to deal with his thoughts.

 

 

Tyler sighes after an hour and Josh knows he's grey enough to keep on living. He helps Tyler to stand up. Tyler follows him out of the room, stumbling, but no longer shaking. He's going to be okay for a few hours, days maybe. Sometimes, Tyler is grey for almost a week and Josh can relax for that time, until Tyler's colour changes again.

 

 

Josh changes his colours quickly. They can change within a few minutes. But it doesn't affect Josh. He doesn't notice it. Tyler notices, tho. He's aware Josh can handle this changes way better than him. But Josh can't see the colours, because they're just in Tyler's head. Of course he can't see them. They're an illusion, Tyler imagines them. It doesn't change the situation. Grey is just another word for okay. He's okay. He's working. He's not feeling.

Black is just another word for sadness and tears and anxiety. And white…white is so much more.

 

 

Right now, Tyler's white. And it's terrible. Because you can't see the dirt when he's black, but when he's white, you can see everything, the dirt is obvious. White means self-destruction, because it shows Tyler how dirty he is. He can't pretend like he isn't, because he can see the dirt that makes a bright white dusty and disgusting. He can't shine.

 

 

"Help me." Tyler whimpers and Josh is by his side in no time. He grabs Tyler's hands and tells him to look at him.

"Look at me!" Josh says. "Tyler, look at me!"

Tyler turns his head slowly, staring into his friend's brown eyes.

"What colour am I? Tyler, what colour?" Josh squeezes his hands. "Tyler, please, tell me."

"Green." Tyler whispers. "You're green. You are bright, you are shining."

Josh releases a breath and pulls Tyler into a hug. "You need to accept my light." he whispers slowly. "You need to let it into your heart, okay?"

Tyler nods and his heart starts to fill with green. The green covers the dirty white. Josh whispers soothing things into his ear and after a while, Tyler's heart is beating and shining bright green in a slow rhythm. He's okay now, but they both know it won't take long until the grey, the black and the white comes back.


End file.
